The Death and Funeral of Hannah Montana


It was a sad sad night in the world last night as there was a murder on MTV’s Video Music Awards. Miley Cyrus pretty much whored up the place and scared the billions of people who were watching for the reunion of NSYNC.  Miley Cyrus killed Hannah Montana on that fateful night.  Now, if you haven’t watched this performance then stop reading this and watch it!

Ready now? Good!

Now this performance is going to easily comparable to the infamous Britney Spears performance of “Gimme More” back in 2007 because of the shock factor (Britney was like a zombie and Miley was being a whore with a tongue and a foam finger). Miley twerked…and by twerked and I mean she grinded up on Robin Thicke’s junk. She also had a foam finger and proved that there are many things you can do with a foam fingers and it will still air on MTV uncensored.  She also cut Chuck E Cheese’s face off and made it into outfit to cover up the outfit she stole from Lady Gaga’s dressing room.

I’m starting thing that “We Can’t Stop” is really her giving the world the finger, which she did last night many times. Miley was pretty much that extremely slutty girl at that party that’s so wasted out of her mind, she’s ratchet. Even when she wasn’t performing, she was still acting like she was getting ready to jump on a pole and lick it (I wonder if her tongue was about to fall off because it was out of her mouth so much).

I think this a good time to state that Miley has single-handedly ruined twerking (sorry, Harry Styles) after the twerking up against Robin Thicke and then simulating what looked like motor boating a big black girl butt as she twerk, who gave the best twerk of the night!.

Overall, this performance has scarred me more than Spring Breakers and it honestly seemed like a desperate attempt to get noticed. Whether she’s just being Miley, only her best friend Lesley knows, but it’s safe to say that Hannah Montana is dead. Just like it’s safe to say that Will Smith’s family won’t be inviting her over for dinner anytime soon.

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