Protecting your banana is important


Have you ever just looked at your banana and though, “Man, I wish I would pack my own without worrying about it?” Well if you haven’t, you will now. Groupon had a special product called “Banana Bunker.” The item is like a special item that protects your banana from being smashed, squished, or unwanted pregnancies. It’s pretty much a condom for your banana, but it looks like a sex toy. I’ll be blunt, it looks like a dildo and/or vibrator.

Because of phallic nature of the banana, when Groupon posted this on their Facebook page, the internet decided to ask questions to Groupon, where they surprising answered back.  So here is some of the questions in Groupon’s impromptu Q&A session:

Q: What do you do if your banana curves the other way?

Groupon: Good News! — the Bunkers is Omni-directional

Q: Is there someone you should contact if you banana stays bunked for more than 4 hours?

Groupon: Nope, just pat yourself on the back — you’re loyal and protective towards your bananas, and it shows.

Q: Does the Banana Bunker still protect a banana that is limp due to age, or does the banana still need to be full & ripe?

Groupon: The Bunker doesn’t discriminate — it accepts bananas of all ages.

Q: Not all bananas are shaped the same though. Some are more curved and others are straighter. Cutting my banana in half to make it fit seems like it might cause other problems. Suggestions?

Groupon: Sometimes you just have to realize that the more reasonably sized banana is the best choice.

Q: Is this ribbed for the bananas pleasure?

Groupon: That’s a complicated question. Bananas don’t exactly “feel” like we humans do, but our scientists estimate that they heavily enjoy the comfort of the Banana Bunker.

Here’s the website if you would like to purchase a Banana Bunker to keep your safe and clean. Groupon also noted during their Q&A session that the Banana Bunker would make for poor cups and ineffective car seats for children due to their clamshell design..

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