Welcome to Riverdale


On Thursday night, the world was introduced to a live action version of the popular “Archie comics” on The CW called “Riverdale.” The show is a much darker take on the popular comic book and it’s the greatest show teen drama that the US has made in years.

The show follows the usual cast of characters Archie, Betty, Veronica, Kevin, pretty much any one you can think of. They are just way more darker. Like Archie was sleeping with his teacher and there has been a murder in Riverdale. Yeah, the murder was mentioned in the first second of the show because Jughead is now a novelist and this is all in his book. Inception.

The show also showed a lot of abs because it’s not a CW show without showing abs. They were mainly Archie’s abs because he became a hottie over a summer and Betty can look through his window since they are neighbors. Betty and Kevin are thirsty. Everyone in that town is thirsty. There’s so much sex going on there it’s insane. Betty and Veronica kiss at a cheerleader tryout to impress Cheryl Blossom, Cheryl also forces Archie and Veronica to kiss in seven minutes of heaven to piss off Betty, and I’m pretty sure that the parents are hooking up with other parents. That town needs hosed down.

Pretty much, I think that Riverdale is in Canada near Degrassi Community School because this town has WAY too much drama to be in the USA. Like the cheerleaders, lead by Head Bitch In Charge Cheryl, who is massive bitch. Like on a scale of 1-10, she’s like a 20 on the bitch meter. It’s extremely enjoy to watch, especially when Veronica and Cheryl go into a bitch off. The adults are just as bad because they are all douches besides Archie’s father, who is Luke Perry. Yeah, Dylan from Hills 90210 (that’s what the cool kids call it these days…and by cool kids I mean just me.)

JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCAT was there! They had long trails and ears for hats. They are slight bitches but they were still there. I had a mini heart attack. Especially when they performed. Yeah, I fangirled hard.

Then they ended the episode with two guys getting ready to hook up down by the river and finding a dead body. Yeah, Riverdale definitely in Canada because there’s something in the water.

Overall, this show is pretty amazing and it’s the best. Literally cannot wait until the next episodes because it goes there.

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