Pop Project Explains: Doctor Who

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The doctor is in

There are many things in life that are very confusing to people. Did the chicken come before the Egg? Where’s Amelia Earnhart? Is that really President Trump’s hair or it is just a really bad wig? Why am I reading this blog post on my own free will? All very important questions that we might never know the answers to.

So to help with the some of the confusion in the world, I’m here to clarify things for you. Welcome to the first edition of “Pop Project Explains.” This is where I would have overdramatic music play, so please pretend its here. On the first edition of “Pop Project Explains,” I’m going to share with you what exactly Doctor Who is if you are unsure. It’s a very strange and confusing show. It’s also British and they gave us a comedy show with people running around crazily with funny music playing in the background because they thought we would enjoy it. Not everyone is perfect.But hey, there’s still James Bond!

What’s “Doctor Who?”

The main premise of the show is that a man called “The Doctor” pretty much kidnaps a “companion,” without letting anyone one know. He then drags his “companion” into dangerous situations that they have no chance of surviving. While he does protect them with a screwdriver, which now is a pair of sunglasses because nothing says “fear me” like sunglasses. The “companion” usually end up falling in love with “The Doctor” because they are usually girls and girls love a man who gets them into dangerous situations and can protect them with a screwdriver or sunglasses. Take notes on that if you are single because that could get you a person.

They travel in a British police box known as Time And Relative Dimension In Space, or “TARDIS”. So if you are getting chased by a mugger and happen to hit the “TARDIS” in order to save your life, then you are just screwed unless you’re “The Doctor.” Which then you could just shake your screwdriver like Tommy Pickles from “Rugrats” at them. Or just put on your sunglass to stun them because they will be laughing so hard that a pair of sunglasses if your weapon of choice.  This “TARDIS” travels through time because “The Doctor” is a Time Lord.  A Time Lord is a just a really fancy way of saying Time Traveler. Each adventure they face off with evil people or villains. One of his villains is an Angel statue that apparently moves when you blink and kills you. Another one is a vacuum cleaner that screams “exterminate.”

Every so often, “The Doctor” dies and turns into another person, who is still called “The Doctor.”  “The companion” also changes…..kind of like they get rid of the bodies because the police is on their way. Now, I’m not saying that “The Doctor” drugs himself and “the companion,” but I wouldn’t be shocked if that was the case. I would also not be shocked if this all happened in someone’s basement. Can you see it now? Everyone drugged out of their mind and fearing for their lives because the vacuum cleaners going to “exterminate” them. Sounds like a drug trip to me! But there’s something about this set up doesn’t feel totally on the up and up.

Like why doesn’t he say his proper name? My parents always told me not to go with strangers, mainly because they would just give me back. Not having a proper name definitely makes him a stranger. Especially when they say “hey, let’s go on a time traveling adventures in my flying police box.” I mean seriously…c’mon. You cannot say there isn’t some sort of drugs involved in either the making or creating of this show. They must have been pretty high when they made this show. It was made in the 1960s. Even the British probably lit some up with their tea…or it was mixed in with the tea.

Also, why people would just trust a man who doesn’t reveal his proper name? He literally just walks up to them and goes “I’m The Doctor.” And they go “I trust you with my life.” He’s not the kind of doctor that you think he is. I wouldn’t want someone to help me if they just said “I’m The Doctor,” especially if I need medical attention. That’s just really cocky to call yourself “The Doctor” and I want to see your past work as I bleed out before you stick your hand in my chest to save my life.

I also really want to tell them to blink twice for helping me because he has them under something. Are all British people this trusting? Or is it because “The Doctor” really has people fearing for their lives? Or is “the companion” told to make people trust him? This is some shady stuff. Like I think there’s a conspiracy theory in here somewhere. But they really shouldn’t just trust someone they didn’t know. That’s just common sense.

Hopefully, this helps with your understanding of Doctor Who and his psychedelic adventures! I know it really hasn’t helped me. It just leaves me with a bunch of questions about the British.

Have an opinion on the matter or just want to say that this piece is literally the best thing you ever read? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman. 

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