We,as a society, have apparently lost control of what we are posting on social media. It doesn’t help when the President of The United States never had control but don’t worry, I’m here. Welcome to “Social Media Corner.” On this corner, I’m offering you advice to help you become a better social medialist so that people don’t want to kill you. If you are looking for the ladies of the night on this corner, I’m sorry to tell you that this isn’t that kind of blog.
What is with everyone’s desire to air their freaking dirty laundry on social media? I get that we are the generation that like to take photos of their food, but don’t post something like this:
Oh.My.God. Today, Becky with the good hair came over and started to flirt with MY MAN. I was almost five seconds from snatching a hoe’s edges. Then I caught MY MAN cheating on me with Becky with the good hair….his fiancé. How dare he? That son of a bitch.
My publicist told me that I should state that I made that up, even though no one really talks like that-there’s usually more profanity. But why would you post that? The kicker is that they will tag the people in the post. That is when it turns into Jerry Springer. This is when, you should grab the popcorn because it will get juicy:
My Man: Hoe, what are you talking about?
Person, who’s obviously the mistress: Don’t hoe me! You know what I’m talking about!!
My Man: Why you be dragging me on insert social media platform?
Person, who’s obviously the mistress: It’s out in the open now! You can’t hide it
Becky with the good hair: Bitch, please! You know he was just using you for your cookie receipt.
Person, who’s obviously the mistress: You’re so luck there’s the internet in between you and me. I will rip your soul out and where it as a scarf for My Man and I’s baby.
Becky with the good hair: YOU GOT HER KNOCKED UP!?!?!?!
My Man: ….it isn’t mine….
Becky with the good hair: Neither will be my foot when it comes off of me and implants itself in your ass.
My publicist would like me to point out that I had this conversation up, even though the spelling and grammar is too correct for it to be real. But this is pretty much what it will turn into, especially if its high schoolers. The sad part is that adults are supposed to be the more mature but they are one who needs to walk away from social media. Now, I better you are wondering when I’m going to help you stop doing this? Well, you need to sit down and calm down. I’m getting there. It’s called setting a story.
When you are thinking of airing your dirty laundry, just remember: don’t do. Take the high road and don’t post anything on it. And if people post dirty laundry about you, don’t response. Keep your nose clean. And if you need to blow off steam on social media, do it passive aggressively like everyone else does. Post a status with a quote about the situation and move on. Now in the situation that is completely made up, there’s no quote that will not make it look bad. Just don’t post a status like that.
If you have a friend that does this, don’t tell them not to post their dirty laundry. Just let them do it. They won’t understand it. Believe me, they won’t understand. If it get’s annoying then just hide them from your feed. Worst comes to worst, just give them this post. I’ll be the bearer of bad news.
Have an opinion on the matter or just want to tell us what’s your favorite color? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject.