Oh April, why must you suck


It’s a new month, and it sucks. Yes, it’s everyone favorite column that only occurs once a month. Today is April 1st, so let’s sit down and discuss why April sucks because it will only get harder from here. Sure, it’s the start of a warmer weather but that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and flowers….according to lore, that occurs in May.


Let’s start with the biggest elephant in the room: April Fool’s Day. We start the freaking month with a joke day. How is anyone supposed to take April seriously when on the very first day, everything is a joke? That’s like walking into a new school with a big “I wear diapers” on your back. Your credibility is shit. You might as well just hid in a bathroom stall and wait for it to be over.

Then as the weather get’s warm, the plants decided to bloom and because beautiful again – not until the end of the Month. It still looks like death has taken over the world for rest of the month. Tree don’t have leaves and the dead bodies of their former leaves still cover the grass. Yeah, how does it feel knowing that you are playing/running/lying on dead leaf bodies? Sure, they will slowly but surely disappear into the ground but you still have to see them and remember the sacrifice they provided for you. #NeverForget.

Let’s not also forgot the fact that April is freaking wet all the damn time. Do we really need it to rain that much? You literally can’t plan to do anything outside because the forecast always has a high likely chance of rain. You spent the last five months inside, April is supposed to be the chance to enjoy the slightly better weather. Nope, it’s teasing you. It’s making you think that it’s going to be nice dry with the sun out and then BAM! Here comes the rain again. Here’s my forecast for the month of April:


Didn’t know I was a weatherman? Neither was I, but I’ll probably be more right than them. All that I am saying is that April needs to fix itself and then we will talk. April needs to reinvent itself and become a better month. It’s not a hard thing to do, but it probably won’t because it’s a stubborn month. April is a stubborn little bastard that thinks it’s the hottest month since August. Technically, it is but that’s beside┬áthe point. If you want to be better

I have high hopes that May will be better than April but, I have a feeling that my soul will be crushed by disappointment and sorrow…like always. I’m so used to disappointment at this point, it’s like second nature. Oh, that’s just a depressing why to end this. So, here’s a gif of an adorable animal, probably a cat since the internet loves cats, to make it a little less depressing:

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you give my Twitter a follow for more goodness.

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