It’s time to looking into the stars….not the stars in Hollywood but rather the ones in the sky that no one looks at in person. Welcome to the Pop Project Horoscopes.
So here’s how this is going to work, in case you have never dealt with astrology before, match the sign that fits your birthday. It’s a very simple concept. So let’s begin!
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): As an Aquarius, you are going to have a busy week. It going to be hot out so all of your friends will be looking to you for a nice and cool dip in a pool. And because you have water literally in your name, you will be the unlikely party that will have your friends at your pool. If you don’t have a pool, then don’t be shocked if you get dragged to one that you will end up paying for. Yes, you heard me right. You will be paying for it. Suck it up because you can use the water to refresh yourself for the next week ahead.
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): If you are reading this, then congratulations on surviving the first wave of fishing. It will only get worse from here. The Fourth of July this week and you will be spending a lot of time running from massive amount of free food that is there to trap you. If you are unlucky and get caught, then hopefully they will place you back so you can learn for that mistake.
Ares (Mar 21 – Apr 19): If you can, I would try to get your “I’m the fucking god of war” rocks off this week by setting off fireworks. If you can’t then you will be tested this week because people won’t back down from you. They will be holding their ground. I’m not sure if it because of the way that stars are aligned or if it’s just because they are feeling confident. Either way, just try to keep your complex down so you don’t miss more people off.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): Look, you need to stop being so bull-headed because it’s going to get you nowhere. Literally, just accept things and move on. Especially if you can’t control it. You don’t have to literally be a bull and a china store. Just breathe and go about your day. If something doesn’t go your way, don’t force it because it’s not worth it. There’s other important things to worry about and that isn’t one of them.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): Celebrate freedom from your twin this week. Enjoy this week as they should as well. You and your twin will just be celebrating your separate and fulfilling lives. Pretty much, you should be having a nice and relaxing time this week to where you won’t be overly stressed.
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): Make sure don’t come arose like a grumpy crab this week. It will be your downfall if you do. It’s an easy-going week for most but you being a crab isn’t going to over well. In fact, it will literally cost you some relationships that you would want to keep. Think before you speak and you would be fine. Hopefully.
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): Channel your inner lion and become a badass. This is probably the shortest of the horoscopes because you just need to be a badass.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22): Still celebrate the fact that you have yet to been locked in a box and sent down the river. Literally, that’s the most positive thing I can see when it comes to Virgo. Again, that story is fifty shades of fucked up.
Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22): Your loneliness will be calmer than usual just because it’s a party week and you will be surrounded around friends. Cats will miss you but now it’s time talk to some people. Social interactions will be the best thing for you. Oh, you also need to look out for your cat’s revenge.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You don’t need to keep the peace this week mainly because it will be an extremely calmer week. No fight or arguing just calm and nice eek. Enjoy it because you deserve this.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): Go as kinky as you want because it’s your time to get down with your bad self. If you want to reenact the entire “Fifth Shades” movies then go right ahead but it’s your week to do that. Go balls to the walls and just let your freak flag fly as high as you want. The safety word of the week is apple.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): Still don’t know what a Capricorn is so just continue on the path to self-discovery. Eventually, we’ll figure out what a Capricorn is and what they do.
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