“Riverdale” Rundown: “Chapter 14: A Kiss Before Dying”


One doesn’t simply kill Luke Perry

Well, my Wednesday’s are now super intense. “Riverdale” is on Wednesdays and let’s just say that if my Anxiety wasn’t bad before, now it’s fucked up to no end. Welcome to the first edition of Riverdale Rundown. It’s like the breakdown but it sounds better as a rundown. Now sure if this will be an every week thing or every other week thing. Either way, let’s get started.

The second season starts immediately where the finale left off. It’s pretty much just one big episode of Archie and his gang dealing with the possibility that Fred Andrews aka Luke Perry may not make it. In between the drama with Archie trying to cope with that potential future, we are in the mind of Fred Andrews as he is fighting for his life and trying not to die. In his mind, we see the gang graduating and Veronica and Archie getting married. This was just trippy as it’s just kind of sprung on you at first without any warning and knowledge that this was in Fred’s mind until they mention how he is dead.

Staring with this episode, I’ve decided that I’m going to embrace dem abs. So I’m going to keep track of how long it takes for the show to bless us with the abs of Archie. I’m pretty sure that they flash them every episode. In the premiere, it took them 20 minutes for them to grace our screens. They appears in a shower scene that escalated quickly when Veronica offered to “keep him company.” For those didn’t get that, they fucked in the shower while his father was fighting for his life. Yeah, it was kind of messed up.

I’m also giving Archie a pass this week because he was an absolute douchey toolbox full of dicks. He was an ass after he and Veronica got it on. He was pretty much an ass to everyone. You can really tell what the shooting of his father done to him because he’s last seen watching the front door with a baseball bat as his mother, Molly fucking Ringwald, heads upstairs to care for his father that should still be in the hospital. Like, he had a massive amount of surgeries `and they released him in the same day. WTF Riverdale Memorial Hospital? I’m not really sure if that’s the real name of the hospital. Anyways, it’s going to be really interesting to see how this affects him for the rest of the season.

We also need to chat about the true hero of the show: Cheryl Blossom. She gone full-blown crazytown in this episode and I am here for it. So last season, she burned down her house after her father killed himself when it was revealed that he killed his son. She told everyone that her mother saved her from said blaze and then threatened to kill her mother if she ever revealed the truth. Cheryl Blossom is now the HBIC, Head Blossom In Charge. She also gave Fred Andrew a kiss in the most creepiest scenes so far. Cheryl, you are my new favorite and I love you. Never change. #Riverdalestrong.
This episode was literally everything I wanted it to be and more. Every little detail was just done in a way that made it just a wonder thing to watch. It was addictive a and I literally screamed out loud when the killer appeared and killed Ms. Grundy. I was shook from head to toe. I literally cannot wait for more. I need it now like a fish needs water. I’m still addicted to Riverdale like it’s cocaine. I wouldn’t have any other way.

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