Top 5ive: Things I want to happen in 2018


It’s time to start fresh

We are a little under a week away from the start of a brand new year. I don’t know about you but frankly, I’m over 2017. I’ll get into my loss of love for 2017 later in the week.  But I thought it was the time that I shared some of my hopes and dreams for 2018. Now I won’t be hoping for the impeachment of Donald Trump. Sure, it’s on the list but that’s pretty obvious. These are just a few of the things that one might have on it. Here’s my list of things I want to happen in 2018.

Jonas Brothers Reunion tour


Look at them, so “pure”

While I disliked the whole “we’re waiting until marriage” gimmick that they had during the original Disney years, and we know now that the purity rings were just for show because they were swimming in lady parts, I think it’s time to put out an “SOS” and “Hold On” because we need to have a Jonas Brothers Reunion Tour that isn’t only occurring at their family gatherings. They don’t need to release new music but rather just play the hits. They can even do new versions of the hits as long as they don’t hit the gift that keeps on giving: Nicholas Jerry Jonas. The OG dem abs need to be protected. He’s a bigger tease than his brother Joe. He flaunts his ripped abs and his extremely muscular arms around as everyone calls him “daddy.” The thirst for Nick Jonas is real.  Also, his music is frankly the best out of all of them. DNCE isn’t bad but it’s nothing like Nick.  Back to the reunion tour, just let it happen Jonases. Everyone wants it.


Disney Channel reboots


I miss OG Disney Channel

I wrote an article on this months ago but it’s time for us to get gritty Disney Channel
reboots. I want some darkness with my classic Disney Channel Original Series. I want Louis to be a pothead and Ren to sleep around secretly with her arch nemesis in an “Even Stevens Reboot.” Disney had so many sexual undertones in “Descendants 2” that it only makes that we will have gritty reboots. It’s also not really hard to make the shows more gritty. Like, let’s have a darker “Sonny with a Chance,” where it shows the dark side of fame and Hollywood. Have some people die in a live-action “Kim Possible” reboot. You really need to get on this Disney. You are missing out on plenty of money making opportunities. Oh, and let’s not forget “Camp Rock 3.” We need something to replace the horrible taste that “Camp Rock 2” left in our mouth.


Mean Girls 2



Isn’t this just fetch?

Like most things in life, I choose not to acknowledge the existence of the actual “Mean Girls 2.” Maybe one of these days, I’ll actually sit down and watch that travesty and write a review on it. That will probably happen when fetch happens. But I want a true sequel to this iconic movie that I can quote word for word verbatim. I think 2018 will be the year that we get it. They are already doing a musical version of it so why not see what Regina, Aaron, Cady and the gang are up to as adults….maybe I should help them write it? I know what Lindsay Lohan is already pushing for it when she’s not being an ambassador for everyone. She’s a Social Justice Warrior you know. My only request for the sequel, besides all the original cast, is that they remake the iconic “Jingle Bell Rock” dance from the Winter Talent Show. I want everything from the thigh slap to the awkwardness after Gretchen kicks the boombox into Jason’s face. I want it all. While we are at it, let’s make fetch happen.


Dove Cameron as Sabrina Spellman



Sabrina Spellman

This one is something I really want badly. It would make my year if the Queen of Disney Dove Cameron played Sabrina Spellman in the “Riverdale” spin-off based on the comic “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.” Dove just screams Sabrina Spellman. It also helps that she has already played a magical character as Mal in the “Descendants” franchise. It’s also what everyone and their mother wants. Give the people what they want. We want Dove Cameron as everyone’s favorite teenage witch. Especially when the show is supposed to take a darker approach. Dove can do darker. Hell, Dove is an excellent actress. She would kill in this role…literally. I also really want her and Cheryl Blossom to have an interaction. This will give me life in ways you wouldn’t imagine.



New 5 Seconds of Summer Album



I miss them

It’s been like two years since got a full fledge 5SOS album with new music. It’s time that the Aussie give us some more music because I need something besides “Girls Talk Boys” to listen to. That was the last time we got anything new from them and it was for a movie that wasn’t even that good. Just give us some new music because frankly, the world needs more 5SOS and it will be a way better place. People would be much happier with more 5SOS. It would also break up the constantly hearing the same old crap on the radio. Everything sounds the same. Their music doesn’t.


Props to me for not having a single swear word in this whole entire article! Fuck yeah!

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