It’s the most wonderful time of the year. It’s also the gayest time of year. Yep, you read that right. It’s the gayest time of year. Christmas is literally the gayest holiday of them all. Easter probably is a close second, but that’s a story for another day.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing that Christmas is the gayest holiday of them all. In fact, it’s what makes Christmas so jolly and a spectacle. This is good fun. Being gay, more specifically LGBTQ+ isn’t a bad thing and shouldn’t be treated as such. I’m just saying what most LGBTQ+ are thinking. This is meant to be in good fun.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Yas king.
The ironic thing about Christmas being gay af is a simple fact that it’s a Christian holiday. I wouldn’t say most, but Christians aren’t too big on LGBTQ+. Top it all off, Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in Christianity. Now I’m not saying that Jesus was a homosexual, but I’ve never seen a straight man want his birth celebrated with a dead tree covered in decorations, lights, and a star on the top of it.
Then we decorate our homes in lights and other decorations. These lights are typically rainbow lights. What does a rainbow represent? Peace and serenity. Oh, it’s also the colors of the gay flag. Yeah, you are decorating your home in virtually the gay flag to celebrate the birth of the most fabulous human of all time.
Then we also turn Christmas into a musical theatre production with the songs we listen to during this time of year. I’m talking about Christmas songs. They pretty much show tunes. So when you are singing about mommy kissing Santa Claus, it’s a show tune. I’m not talking about the new versions of the song, but rather the original ones that we were listening to from the 1950s. They are show tunes, and we celebrate them like they are a classic broadway number. That’s gay. That’s very gay.
Then we have the gayest thing about Christmas: Santa Claus. I’m sorry, but the only guy that slides down tight holes in satin polyester matching jumpsuit and hat with a huge stack of toys is gay. He had me sold at the outfit alone. Yep, you read that right. I’m calling Santa a homosexual. He was only trying to get your daddy when he was kissing your mommy. Make you wonder what kind of “toys” in his bag. This makes more sense of why moms love to take their children to trust him. Moms love good and nice gays.
My goal is not to ruin Christmas for the masses. But instead, let all the gay-hating and judgemental people of the world that even their sacred holiday is gay. In fact, it’s probably the gayest holiday of them all. And y’all accept Christmas for the homosexual that it is, and yet you don’t accept your fellow man. It’s what
gay Jesus would want you to do. This holiday season, I hope everyone finds love, acceptance, and better taste in clothing.
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