Are you serious?

RDA

Lock the doors, lower the blinds, fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels-it’s about to get real up in this bitch. Let’s have a Kiki! For those of you that have lived under a rock, a Kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just desserts one may deserve. In this week’s Kiki, we will be dealing with a very serious topic.

The internet broke again when news broke that literally made my childhood self want to rage quit life. Are you sitting down for this?

Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants is not a Squid but rather, an Octopus! I know what you are thinking, WTF!?!?!  Does your life feel like a lie too?

It was revealed by Spongebob creator Stephen Hillenburg that his name is a lie and that the clarinet playing bitchy neighbor is an Octopus. Who does that? It’s like finding out that the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus is just your parents. They might as well have Ashton Kutcher in his trucker hat appear out of nowhere and say “You’ve just been Punk’d!”

Who does that? Like in all seriousness, who names a character after one creature, when it’s actually another. It’s like naming something Cat and it being a dog. It would be cute if it was like a 4-year-old but this is just one big FU.

At first, I thought that this was an early April Fools joke and then it appeared in more than one spot and I was like “Woah, this is serious!” Again, who does that?

To Stephen Hillenburg: You are a little bitch…a brilliant little bitch

That Kiki was Marvelous!!! Want to join in on the Kiki? Leave us a comment down below!

50 Shades of Kiki

50 shades

Lock the doors, lower the blinds, fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels-it’s about to get real up in this bitch. Let’s have a Kiki! For those of you that have lived under a rock, a Kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just desserts one may deserve. In this week’s Kiki, we will be  pulling out the whips and chains and pushing play on Rihanna’s “S&M” as we talk about 50 Shades of Grey

50 Shades of Grey is makes Magic Mike look like an Oscar worth movie. Now I haven’t seen the movie nor have I read any of the books, but I have done enough research to know that it’s a horrible franchise. It’s a Twilight fan fiction for one, which should have been a massive red flag to begin with. On top of that, it’s like someone watched a porn, took heavily detailed notes, and stuck a title on it with some slight changes and called it a book. Actually, calling this book a porn is giving the porn industry a bad name because porn has more depth to their plot lines than this franchise. And just like Twilight, it makes you want to slap the bitch and the face and go “Bitch, leave his ass! You be straight cray” until you realize that this bitch likes it rough. Just from reading the synopsis of the first book and my knowledge of Twilight, I can already sum up the plot of the entire thing:

Stupid Female: I know I shouldn’t love you but I just can’t stop myself

Mr. Grey: The safety word is “Banana”

Stupid Female: You’re not good for me

Mr. Grey: You didn’t say “Banana”

Sadly, my summary of the plot seems to better 100x better than the actual plot of the book. If you plan on watching the movie or reading the book, I recommend getting a safety word because it will be your only way out of pain.

That Kiki was Marvelous!!! Want to join in on the Kiki? Leave us a comment down below!

Let’s have a Kiki about Justin Bieber…again!

jbiebs

Lock the doors, lower the blinds, fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels-it’s about to get real up in this bitch. Let’s have a Kiki! For those of you that have lived under a rock, a Kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just desserts one may deserve. In this week’s Kiki, we will be dishing on Justin Bieber’s statement that he was only acting like a totally douchebag for most of his career.

So recently Justin Bieber posted a video about how the childish, idiotic way he has acted has been not truly him. Apparently he took to Instagram and Facebook to tell the world that he has lived a lie. Justin Bieber said that:

“I’m not who I was pretending to be. Why I say I was ‘pretending’ is often we pretend to be something we’re not as a cover up of what we’re truly feeling inside. And there were a lot of feelings going on in there. Just being young and growing up in this business is hard. Just growing up in general is hard.”

And I’m hitting the big red button that say “Bullshiz.” Where was this apology when his beloved, and somewhat psychotic, Beibliers were cutting themselves to get the Biebsbag to get him to stop his behavior? I feel like this is his and his horrible PR teams way of “shoving the dirt under the rug” and go “Let’s just forget how much of a Jackass that he was because no one wants to buy this stuff.” So he was “pretending” when he left his monkey in Germany? Well excuse me when I “pretend” to believe this. Well as our beloved JoJo once said, “It’s just too little too late, a little too wrong and I can’t wait. But you know all the right things to say.”

Justin, if you want to prove to everyone that you have changed-show that you are the horse’s head and not the horse’s ass.

 

That Kiki was Marvelous!!! Want to join in on the Kiki? Leave us a comment down below!