We would rather read than listen to Body Language


So if you look at the banner, you are probably confused on who the person is. It’s probably because she got enough plastic surgery to make people believe her face was mangled in a horrific fight against a car and a bear on steroid. Well this is a review of the song “Body Language” that came out in 2007 performed by this reality star who that Farrah Abraham has modeled her career after (including the botched plastic surgery). So here is the “official” video for the song that will reveal who the hell this is:

That is right! It’s Heidi Montag pretending that she can sing. Now the song has a good beat that make you believe that song might even be good then she opened her mouth and it became a huge crap fest. Her voice is overly autotuned. The lyrics sound like she likes a good romp in the dungeon if you get what I mean, and the best part of it is that Spencer “I’m a douchebag with a bunch crystals” Pratt rapping on it like he is the only rapper that was available that day. He rap felt like he got his rapping degree not from Dr. Dre but rather Dr. Whitest boy in the room.

Overall, the song is horrible but compared to her other work (yes, there is more and don’t worry, we’ll review that stuff too!). Plain and simple: The bitch sucks.

Rating: 1 crystal out of 5


Have an opinion on the song? Let us know in the comment below

Please stop that music!

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Our friendly neighbor gossip Perez Hilton recently posted a photo gallery of Actors and Athletes that had a failed music career, which probably means that their music was god awful. So I thought I would ruin your life by playing the music and making comments about it!

Kim Kardashian

Okay so this song is just horrible and  it just makes me want to just harm little innocent bunnies. Granted, Kim Kardashian recorded for charity but it’s one of those things that she shouldn’t have never done. This just goes to show that Kim shouldn’t quit her day job (whatever the hell that might be) no matter how much you look like Nicole Scherzinger.

Scarlett Johansson

Yeah….we can see why she didn’t have a good music career because this song is basically god awful. It literally sounds like it was overly produced in first place to cover up the bad singing.  It’s a good thing she stopped after her 2011 album because this wasn’t pretty to sit through.

Lindsay Lohan

Okay, this one I somewhat agree with to a point. While Lindsay’s music career wasn’t successful, it wasn’t because she was bad (she more like mediocre). It didn’t pan out because of her alleged problems with drugs and alcohol. “Rumors” and “Confessions of a Broken Hearts” were a few of good songs. Her first album is better than her second.

Paris Hilton

What is with all this girls that got famous via a sex tape think they can sing? It’s all Paris’ fault because she started this trend. Granted, her music was 100 times better than Kim’s but it still wasn’t good. It was so bad, it made the Star’s blind.

Heidi Montag

This one is pretty much self explanatory. Heidi thought it would be a good idea to release an album when “Speidi” and “The Hills” controlled the airways over at MTV. Her music was….interesting to say the least. “Body Language” was her only “good” song and I say that hesitantly. And yes, that is Spencer Pratt rapping along is wife (is it wife?). He took time away from his crystals mediations to help her.

Brooke Hogan

This is another one that I really don’t really agree with. Brooke Hogan’s problem wasn’t that she was horrible, it was that no one knew what genre of music that she should be in because her first album was more “r&b” while her second (her best btw) was more pop-ish. She was actually really good at singing but it was just the music she was putting out wasn’t really fitting her. It also might have been the fact that her father, Hulk Hogan, also dated/married a woman who looks just like his daughter (creepy to 102 degree)

Now there are plenty more of people like this but these are just the cream of the crop of musical crap.

Did we miss anyone that shouldn’t have tried to get a music career? Leave it in a comment below